Well, this has been off to a roaring start. The ablation didn’t work as well as it had before. The numbness is still there and the pain comes and goes. While it’s not as bad as it was before, I can’t say that it was a complete success this time. I have days where the pain is mostly gone but it’s never completely gone. I get to go back to the office on March 5th, to discuss how it’s going and what we’re going to do about this tumor. I hate to say that I think it may be time to discuss disability. Standing for periods of time still hurts and makes the pain worse than it was before.

I’m still trying to find a job, but it’s difficult when what I really need is a desk job. I don’t have any skills, really, other than pharmacy. You don’t sit when you do pharmacy. I have an interview this afternoon where my position will be a remote one and I’ll be able to sit down. While that is a great thing, it’s a temporary position with a possibility to go full time, permanent. I hope it works out, but I know that once I’m finished with school, the position will be one where I can sit. But, I can’t wait until I’m finished with school to get a job where I can sit down.

My parents have been completely supportive and for that I’m so blessed. But, it’s still not easy. I feel like in so many ways, I’m letting them down. I’m not working, nothing is working out job wise, and I’m not able to move around like I used to. The only thing I feel like I’m not failing them in is school. Over the last couple weeks, I’ve gotten invitations to join both the National Honor Society and Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society, as well as being on the Dean’s List. I have completely worked my butt off for those grades. It was a hard-fought battle with having surgery, recovering from surgery, and then this getting worse. But, I did it. And I’m going to keep at it because I’m not willing to let this disease win. I’m not going to let it beat me.